Mixed Emotions: Honor and Loyalty

[Jen]

(An aside from “Curiosity”)

Nova listened to what Rinald had to say. She watched him with her arms crossed and her jaw clenched so tight that a muscle along her neck twitched. The pulse in her neck beat erraticly, the soft skin pulsing with the force.

“You speak as if you think I don’t know what it means to be a monster. I am a Werewolf Rinald!” Nova snatched the knife out of Rinald’s hands and tossed it blade down into the dirt. She was furious now, and tiny though she appeared, she almost seemed to fill the space between them with her fury.

“You speak as if you had to watch your family cornered, fearing for their very lives because of the beasts that invaded their home. You speak as if you heard your mother scream when you were torn from her breast. You act as if you had seen your father’s throat shredded, and his blood…” Nova put her hands to her face, her voice choked for a moment as she inhaled sharply.

“I lived a human among wolves for five years. I was twenty when Van Buren took my humanity from me. He saw the potential in me. I was fifteen when they took me from my family, Rinald. You do not know terror until you are forcibly removed by Werewolves under the full moon. I was not murdered that night because Van Buren had heard of me in whispers spoken in my village.” Nova’s voice trailed into a whisper as the color drained from her face.

“Honor and heroism have nothing to do with what you do. You didn’t have to save my life. You could have stood aside and let Rakhaev slice into my body and kill me with the silver. You knew what it would do to me. You knew what the light would do to Blythe. You couldn’t stand to see either of us killed for the righteous bullshit of a family member, however related.”

Nova shoved Rinald, though he wouldn’t go far. She was weak, pitifully so after everything that had been asked of her in the past hours. She pounded against his chest, and it would hurt sure, but it wouldn’t leave a bruise.

“You don’t know what pain is until you have endured this…” Nova pulled her shirt open, not caring that her breasts weren’t bound. Rinald had seen them before anyway, even if there had been a thin layer of cloth between them. Her upper torso was riddled with scars, though they didn’t take away from her appearance. There were a few bite marks along her waist, claw marks from her right shoulder to her left hip. Some of the marks looked as if they should have been fatal. Nova pointed at her neck, where there was the faintest outline of a mouth.

“Van Buren bit me and left me to endure his plague for two weeks. Two miserable, pain riddled, horrifying weeks. He adores me now, but he is of the mind that you make your own way and you prove yourself to him. How else do you think I’ve raised myself in his eyes? Certainly you didn’t think he was anything more than my Master.”

Nova turned her back to Rinald as she began to button her shirt back up, angry tears clouding her vision. Her head swam as she quickly finished her task and turned her back toward him.

“You picked the wrong person to play the broken hero to.”

[Sage]

Rinald was unmoved by her tale, or at least it appeared so. His hands shook as he recounted the events, and he wished he could convey his thoughts to her like he could to Kraven, so that he would not have to speak of his crimes allowed. He took slow steps forward, and purposefully leaned down for the knife. He did not bother to clean the earth-smeared metal as he flung it behind him without even glancing in the direction he had done so. The metal caught a falling leaf and after piercing it, rotated once more into the tree it had fallen from.

" I see everything, Nova. "

He inhaled slowly as his illusory eyes would allow themselves to be seen at every exit of the clearing, facing inward, all watching Nova. Even as she turned around, he would be able to see her, it was why he had been chosen. His gift, made into a weapon.

" But I didn't have to watch. It was me, these hands. I was made to sever my bonds myself. Baptism by fire... " There was a brief pause in his recount, as though it was on the verge of an eternity ago.

" Dead men don't need family...that's what he said.... "

Rinald lowered his head, and the eyes would all fade away, not hidden but gone. He was ashamed at his own weakness, but he was just as angry that she would not do him the service of killing him. He might have been attracted to her, exposed and beautiful as she was, if he wasn't so miserable.

" These hands. I've done everything on my own up until now. They are stained with blood, and earth, and tears. But practiced as they are, I can not bring them to my own throat Nova. A lycan should understand how maddening the loss of control is, better than anyone. So think poorly of me if you will, as long as you know that nothing you have done is as unforgivable as my crimes. You didn't do this to yourself...you are the better. "

[Jen]

Nova watched him as she crossed her arms over herself again. Her eyes were piercing and she shook her head slightly, though it was enough to cause some of her curly hair to fall into her face.

“I have done things that you would never begin to understand. When I am a Werewolf, during the full moon, there is only one thing that keeps me from killing. The voice, or instructions, of Van Buren.” Nova tapped her head with her fingertips and continued to stare at Rinald.

“You don’t understand what its like to be in this body, in that heightened state of awareness. You have the ability to loathe what you are doing, even if you still do it. I enjoy what I’m doing. I enjoy the scent of blood, the taste of flesh, the undulating scent of fear. Its elation at its very highest. Oh and the chase…gods Rinald you are so quick to trust a monster with a cute face!”

Nova cast a glance at the sky and sighed.

“Blythe and I share two things. First, we’re monster’s of the basest nature. Two, we enjoy what we’re doing and only think about it afterward. You are a human with a pretty body and a handsome face. You do what you are told, as often human’s do.” Nova walked over to the knife sticking out of the tree and pulled it out. She held the blade up, letting it glint in the faint light sifting through the trees, however grey it was.

“You let your emotions guide you, Rinald. You are sucked into a void of emotion and can’t crawl your way out.” Nova took the tip of the knife and drew a thin line down her arm and blood began to pool pop up in small beads. She’d really only scratched herself with the tip, nothing too terrible. Almost as soon as she’d made the scratch she started to heal, her body built for such things. She leaned her head down and licked the blood off of her arm.

“I am a monster, Rinald. Don’t you ever forget that, as easy as it may seem in the den of Vampires. In a way, I’m worse because I can control myself. I don’t have the strange cold palor of the Vampires. I’m warm, I’m alive, and I’m a healer.” Nova walked over to Rinald and put her warm hands on his chest. She was attractive, yes, but she was just as dangerous as Blythe – if not worse.

[Sage]

Rinald considered her interpretation. She was right, somewhat. But Blythe was different from her, aside from the fact that she was lithe and tall, and Nova was shorter, more voluptuous. Blythe wouldn't think things through first, Nova was right about her own control, but not Blythe's. He knew her better, had seen the aftermath of her attack on Anabel. Nova would have never attacked Bartholomew, despite whether it was because she had control over herself or the situation wouldn't arise.

Blythe would help him, if only because he could make her lose control where he had failed with Nova. He would be able to give her freedom, now while Kraven had all the doors unlocked for Anabel. But she wouldn't survive the dawn. It would have to wait until tomorrow night.

" Kraven gave me until the full moon to decide. If you are intent on saving me rather than helping me...then I suggest you find a very good reason for me to stick around between dawn and dusk. I'm strong, Nova...but I can't keep hurting good people to serve those that can fend for themselves. In all my years, the only noble thing I've done is saving you. "

Rinald tucked a lock of her curls behind her ear, and looked at her carefully using only his real eyes.

" Rakhaev owes you his life. You owe me yours. After I'm gone, promise me you'll add at least one more decent thing to my list. Don't be like us. You have enough control to write your own story. "

[Jen]

The sound of birds wakening, beginning to chirp, did nothing to clear Nova’s mood. She looked up at Rinald and frowned, searching his eyes with hers for a moment. Then, without warning, she took one of his hands and turned toward a clearing nearby. She gave a sharp tug on his arm, strong enough to at least dislodge him from his place.

“You think you’re so smart. You think your life is so horrible just because you’ve done things that are less than perfect. Don’t play the rogue hero with me either. You just come off as an elitist ass.”

Once she was in the clearing, Nova took a deep breath and looked at Rinald. He was handsome, lithe and tall – though not nearly as tall as Kraven or Rakhaev, or even Bartholomew. He had been enormous when he’d saved her life. Perhaps that was her problem with him, her mild infatuation with him.

“You are not going to die. Blythe won’t even kill you. She will, however, die one way or another. Anabel won’t have anything less than her life for the crimes against her person. I didn’t save your life once today just to have it spent on freeing a lost cause.” Nova looked at Rinald again before her eyes sought out the tree tops.

They were starting to glow with a dull grey light. It wouldn’t be clear today as it had been yesterday. They would be lucky if the sun even came out of the clouds. There would be enough light, however, to kill a Vampire. There was always enough sunlight to kill a Vampire – except on days when the sun went dark for an hour. That had always been a troubling time for humans, but they no longer remembered the ‘why’ of it. Anyone should fear the darkening of the sun, for Vampires came out to play.

“I have perfected my life under Van Buren for two centuries.” Nova spoke as she turned away from Rinald and let his hands go. She sat in the middle of the clearing on a small hill. It had probably been a holy site before the Vampires had claimed the valley. Now it would have negative thoughts and feelings with the people because it was so close to the den of Vampires. They had the same thoughts and feelings about the highland woods – that was where the huge wolves lived after all. Humans always feared anything unnatural, because – well…it shouldn’t really exist, naturally.

“I am one of the only healers in the entire pack of Van Buren. I am the most advanced and the only healer that can cross racial lines with my natural talent. It is even more of an interesting feat to have the ability to heal vampires now. This is not the life I asked for Rinald.” The grass was worn thin on the top of the hill where Nova sat and she leaned back and looked into the sky.

“If anyone should be dead, it should be me or Blythe. We should have died centuries ago. You do me a disservice by wanting to die after I healed you. I have a vested interest in your life now, Rinald. Just as much as you have an interest in seeing me live mine.”

[Sage]

Rinald flinched at her unyielding assault on his character. He ran his hand from one side of his face to the other, careful when touching the bridge of his nose. His wounds hadn't been fatal, but he could have very well suffered serious complications without her intervention, or eventually bled out...even though he had been wounded specifically so that she would heal him.

Blythe was sentenced to death, Nova had been ripped away from her humanity, and only Rinald had any choice left to him. He could leave this life and live the rest of his long, but not immortal life in misery, away from the supernatural world. He couldn't imagine going back to humanity now, alone. And his mind drifted back to the possibility of giving Blythe her freedom and escaping. Rinald was Kraven's best chance at tracking runaways, they both knew that.

He stared at the slowly illuminated face of Nova, resigning to the fact that there was nothing to be done tonight. It burned that she was so upset with him, and he could not explain why. She should be nothing but a colleague to him, a part of an experiment that just happened to think and breathe, with an appealing relief on the eyes thrown in. He couldn't believe the words that escape his lips, even as he spoke them; but if she was intent on his repayment, he would not deny her.

" What would you have me do, Nova? "

[Jen]

The sounds of life stirring in the woods drew some of Nova’s attention away from Rinald as she leaned forward and rested her chin on her knees. She reached behind her head and pulled her hair free and shook it loose so that it fell in tight spirals and loose curls all down her back and shoulders. She peered up at Rinald with eyes not unlike those of a sad pup.

“I want you to stay alive. What do I suggest you do? Get some rest and bend your back and do what is asked of you. It’s not the best of lives in the world, but it could be a hell of a lot worse. Trust me. You owe me only one thing, and that is the agreement that you will not kill yourself or willingly put yourself in harms way.”

Nova let her eyes fall to a single flower in the clearing at her feet. She reached down and plucked it from the grass and twirled it in her fingers. It had five petals, was a soft buttery yellow, and smelled sweet. It was one of the first flowers of spring and she had a keen enough sense of smell not to crush the petals against her face to smell it.

“I owe you the agreement not to die…yet. I don’t think you have much to fear from that. Bartholomew is here, and while he is near he will protect me. You will die of old age long before I die willingly.”

Nova tossed the flower at Rinald, where it landed at his feet and puffed a small cloud of yellow pollen. She turned her back to him and curled up on the hill, getting ready to sleep. She didn’t expect anyone to watch over her, in fact she slept alone all the time without anyone to comfort her or see to her needs or wants. Nova fended for herself even as one of Bartholomew’s favorites. More than one of those scars on her body was from refusal of a mate, though Bartholomew had seen to their demise shortly after – especially after some of the more brutal attempts. One of which had left Nova unable to serve him for several months afterward.

Rinald would be able to see part of that scar as Nova curled up on herself, it was an angry looking thing that bisected her spine, which would have left her in mortal agony and near death and dying. It had only been because of Bartholomew and another healer that she had even survived.

Maybe if Rinald stuck around long enough he might learn a thing or two about Nova, if he listened.

[Sage]

Rinald slumped, his medium length hair becoming even more bothersome as he stared at the ground, much like a chastised child. He had slept since Kraven last had, but he was still tired, his body unable to mimic the feats of his distant relative. He wished he could make himself as comfortable outdoors as she seemed to be able to. He hadn't been able to rest peacefully since he had watched his home burn to the ground. It had been years since he had slept outside of a tiny underground room on a stiff cot, enduring the sounds of the snores of several other grown men.

His attention was pulled away from Nova as a large deer approached them, oddly alone. It was a magnificent specimen, a female in it's prime. It would clearly bear strong and impressive offspring, and it advanced slowly on Rinald. He had a point to make that the doe was perfect for, though he did not know if he had the stomach to make it with Nova already so pissed off at him. He carefully nicked himself with the razor-thin sword as he pulled it a centimeter out of it's sheath, then slung it toward the animal, spraying a tiny line of blood across the animal and then the ground.

Her attention would no doubt be drawn by the subtle sound of cut flesh, and the potent smell of blood, though he doubted she would figure out his trick right away. If she indeed thought she had wounded the animal where it had appeared on it's neck, she would know that it would die as it fled through the forest. She would catch the scent and understand before a human would, but it would serve it's purpose, and his face reflected sadness rather than malice as the creature bounded away from Rinald, and past Nova.

" I will be a murderer for you, then. Kill senselessly. "

Rinald carefully wiped down the silver sword and replaced it in it's sheath and held his wounded thumb fast in the bend of is right elbow.

" When they go to the mainland to hunt the mutations, I'm going with them. That's the only way I'll take Rakhaev's place at Kraven's side. "

[Jen]

Nova pushed up off the ground in a single fluid motion that spoke of arduous training and supernatural abilities. She bent into a crouch and looked at Rinald, her eyes alert at the smell of blood. Several emotions crowded her face, all jockeying for position for a moment before she smirked.

“You lying bastard. Human blood smells different than deer blood.” Nova sprinted at him, quick as a spring hare, and stopped abruptly a foot from him. Her hair was a wild array of curls and spirals. She smiled at him and held out her hand.

“If you insist on hurting yourself in order to be a martyr, at least let me help.” She laughed a little, at ease in the moody man’s presence. She was the beast in this situation, and she was completely comfortable. Her ice blue eyes twinkled with merriment as she watched Rinald.

“Come now, I’ll only bite you tonight if you let me.” She winked a little roguishly before pulling his hand from the crook of his elbow and exerting some of her healing energies into it. It was a minor cut, clean with some dirt in it. Idiot had cut himself with a dirty knife. With a shake of her head and rolling her eyes, Nova stuck the pad of Rinald’s thumb in her mouth and sucked the wound clean of dirt and debris from the knife.

“Next time…” Nova said as she spat out his blood. “Don’t use a dirty knife to cut yourself. It’ll infect the wound. Then I have to cut it off. Infected body parts are so gross, not even I’d eat one as a wolf.”

Nova made a small grimace and looked at Rinald. “You taste sour. What the hell do you eat, lemons? Ugh, it’ll take all day to get that funny taste out of my mouth.” She didn’t let him know that she thought that all humans tasted a bit off, but that was because she didn’t particularly like messing with them when she wasn’t a full blown werewolf, and they did taste fairly gross outside that prospect, even when she was in her wolf form. The irony flavor was a bit bitter and off putting. It was only during her stint as a werewolf that she needed the iron in the blood in order to sate her bestial nature.

“You should heal cleanly now at least.”

[Sage]

Rinald found it infuriating that he could not keep his anger focused on Nova. He had attempted to cement her opinion of him with this last trick before he left, and she had completely swung her emotion in the opposite direction. It annoyed him to no end that where he countered werewolves view on the strength of humanity with his own physical strength, and saw fit to take stabs at their intelligence in comparison, Nova was destroying his perception of the supernatural world. She could be seen as more human than he, being reasonable and sane, but she coupled it with her keener senses.

She was less of a monster than he. He reluctantly allowed her to pry his hand away from his chest, shamed by her having outwitted him. He thought hard about how one might go about flustering Nova Van Buren. He could either best her physically, which would mean a random attack that he was not altogether sure was a great idea, or...

" Is it just our blood that tastes funny, or do you dislike all our flesh? "

Rinald grinned as he snapped his healed arm out and grabbed Nova firmly around her waist, the muscles in his arms and legs swelling slightly, only to a portion of the size they had been when he'd needed to break Blythe's shackles. He held her body close to his, his eyes locked into hers, and struggle or not she wouldn't be able to outdo him in this capacity. He pressed his lips firmly against hers, and then disappeared. In instants he was suspended from a nearby branch, with a wide smile on his face. Even tired, she could outrun him as a wolf...but wolves couldn't climb. He gave her a wink of his icy blue eyes before he bolted upward, and across to the next tree in the opposite direction of Nova.

[Jen]

Nova blinked a few times, too stunned to do anything but stare at Rinald as he danced about in the trees like a big monkey. She frowned a little before her mind began to work properly and she laughed. In the instant it took her mind to capitalize on the situation, and the instant it took Rinald to swing from one tree to the next, Nova was on the move. She was physically faster than Rinald when he was his normal size. Now, with his girth and size greater than normal, Nova was quick as lightning.

However, as she sprinted, she shifted her form to that of a wolf. She was more highly aware of his scent, his masculinity, and her wereabouts. Nova barked up at Rinald as she danced circles around the trees he chose to land in. Unfortunately for her, in her rush to chase him, she had left her clothing in a heap on the ground and would be less than perfectly clothed once she revealed herself to him. She hadn’t thought that aspect through, but gave herself over to the chase.

In her primal brain, Nova darted between possibilities of where Rinald would end up next. It was a game she’d played with squirrels as a pup, before she’d ever had dreams and worries of becoming a Werewolf. The squirrels were easy prey, of course, and easily feared into making the appropriate leaps. However, Rinald was huge by comparison and not afraid of her in the least.

Nova barked up at Rinald, settling her bottom on the ground and stirring up the leaf litter on the ground with her tail. She was a pretty wolf with bright well kept fur. Her fur was blonde and white and her eyes an eerie ice blue, reminiscent of the human within – or was it the human revealing the animal within? That was a question left for darker times, indeed. Nova bounded off her rump and into the brush for another round of chasing Rinald, but she got far enough ahead to watch him. Behavior so unlike a true wolf.

When she realized the pattern that Rinald was taking, Nova shifted back into a human woman and climbed the tree Rinald would land in, but on the far side so he couldn’t see her. Before he would lay his hand on the tree, Nova would slip out onto a thick branch and straddle it. She would be mostly naked, save for a pair of underwear. Her hair would be wild and free, and littered with a few leaves. She looked like a wood nymph, her body glistening with a sheen of sweat that was gathered from her bolting run after Rinald.

“You can’t get away that easily.” Nova was only partially out of breath, and only so from being tired. She winked at Rinald and made no effort to cover herself. She was too used to being around men than also lost their clothing on the full moon.

[Sage]

Rinald's plans hadn't quite worked out the way he'd anticipated, but he wasn't dead, so things were still going his way. Another thing he hadn't anticipated was just how fast you could run on all fours. He fought to stay one step ahead of her, and despite her speed, if she had not have had a very human logic behind her actions, he felt as though he might have been able to shake her. But such was not the case, and before long she'd had him.

Rinald's mind worked furiously to keep up with the situation, and for the briefest of moments he allowed the game to slip into something more fierce, where he forgot to factor her durability into his actions. Even in his expanded form, his muscles were far denser than average, still compacted and not at all representative of what they were capable of. This meant two things.

Rinald was deceptively strong, and he was deceivingly heavy. She had planted herself formidably in his path, and so he did all that he could. Rinald's fingers dug through the bark, embedding themselves into the moist wood as he swung his legs around over Nova's head, exerting as much centrifugal force as he could on the pivot point that was the tree. With a horrendous crashing sound, it began to peel itself away from the earth, uprooting on one side as he pulled it to the ground. He had a devilish expression on his face as he hung over Nova before the trunk slammed into the ground, launching him away. Nova, who was against the far side of the tree, opposite of the direction it fell would likely be safe, save for a nasty bump that would result from the fall should she be able to continue hanging on.

" Success! "

The words rang through the trees as he used the cover of the fall to launch himself back into the trees after rolling to a stop in the underbrush. There were mere seconds between the fall and his second disappearance. Rinald couldn't remember ever having had fun in this manner, on purpose. It was freeing...and it would continue to be...until nighttime when he would be forced to commit to one of two fates.

[Jen]

Nova gasped and launched her body off the tree, scrambling barely into another before the last one fell. Hearing Rinald’s escape, Nova bolted through the tree tops like a demon fresh from hell. She slid down one tree and landed with her feet and hands in the dirt.

It took no time at all for her forms to shift and for her to bolt break neck through the trees after Rinald. Pretty soon she would be on his heels, underbrush or no. She barked at him and sped by, a blur of blonde fur.

Nova bolted in front of him, just far enough ahead of him to give him room to stumble in order not to run smack into her. He wouldn’t get her, he didn’t have a chance, she was too quick for him in his current form. When he stumbled she would be on him. Her almost completely nude body attached to his back. She was an expert huntress and adept at shifting her forms with precision.

“Now, just where do you think you’re off to?” Nova pressed her body into Rinald and shifted her weight, maintaining a tight grip on him. He was incredibly strong, but she wasn’t too far off herself. She had centuries worth of training and rough housing under her belt.

Nova’s breaths were soft and shallow as she lifted her body along Rinald’s to his neck and ear. She breathed into his ear and laughed.

“Got you.” She could care less that she was practically nude clinging to a man’s body. She was an immortal and a relatively old one at that. Her body was scattered with scars that glistened and glittered in the morning sun and she was laughing as if she didn’t have a care in the world. As if nothing bad had ever happened to her.

[Sage]

Rinald took a spill into the bushes, and indeed, came up with a passenger. She was light, lighter than he could have guessed, and when she posed her question, he could only laugh, talking to her over his shoulder.

" Apparently wherever I want. "

The clinging werewolf did little to slow his movements, and he made a point of proving this to her by reaching up to a low-hanging branch and pulling himself up to it, before turning upside down and swinging his calves over it, so that he could suspend the both of them at the bend of his knees.

" Okay, you have me. I don't suppose you gave any thought as to what you were going to once you caught up? "

Rinald was strong, and she was tired. He could have easily pried her off his back, but the warmth of her breath on his neck, and the first touch of female flesh he had consciously experienced in his life weren't undesirable.

[Jen]

Nova laughed as she held on tightly to Rinald. Her hair fell around them in a shower of yellow gold. She was at ease in holding tightly to his body. She could feel his skin in places and that comforted her.

“No, I hadn’t given it much thought on what I’d do once I caught up.”

Nova relaxed her choke hold on Rinald just a little as she relaxed. She peered up at the sky through her curtain of hair and smiled against his neck.

“Today is going to be dreary. Good sleeping weather.” She said as she let go of Rinald and dropped from the tree to land in a crouched position. She straightened up and backed up to look at him. She smiled a small Cheshire cat smile and winked at him before walking toward a well known pond in the deeper parts of the woods. It was avoided, simply because it was on the Von Hagen estate.

Nova could smell herself and knew she smelled like a dog. So without hesitation she waded into the water, discarding the remaining scraps of her clothing as she went. She took her time, swimming just beneath the surface of the water, before surfacing somewhere near the middle of the pond. There was a steam rising from the cold water in the early morning hours.

She didn’t entirely expect Rinald to follow her, but part of her hoped that he would. That he wasn’t quite done being carefree just yet.