Still strolling through the shadows, part I

[Nayt]

"No . . ." Usurii shook her head quickly, "My Master would never order someone to throw his life away! Especially for something so . . . something so pointless!"

It was the honest truth, as far as she was concerned. It didn't matter if she had taken a life or been in a life or death situation or not, she had seen people die and had experienced their memories--the fleeting memories of the ones slowly fading into death. She knew as much as anyone that dying for a simple and pointless cause was a miserable experience, especially when it was theorized that the enigmas had no afterlives. For that reason alone, Usurii couldn't begin to believe that Sturm would really send his allies to their deaths just to strengthen this . . . this . . . this man! This wasted opportunity of a human being!

"It doesn't matter . . . it doesn't matter if I've killed someone or not," she stared at the floor, "Lives just aren't supposed to be thrown away like that. Anyone who thinks like that is . . . sick . . ."

And by definition, that would make Shin as sick of a human being as she could consider. Of course, she didn't hate him. He disgusted and frightened her, but that was all--disgust. Possibly even pity. A person who saw so strongly a minimal value for human life could never go back to being human.

Would that keep her from unlocking Shiden's memories? She couldn't be too sure. If he upset her, then perhaps she would refuse. It was her Master's wish that Shin Shiden's repressed memories be brought back, and she wasn't one to deny her Master's wishes--but she also wasn't one to let him keep someone so depraved around without protest . . . for his own good. If it weren't for the fact that she feared for her Master's safety, she'd have presented minimal protest, but still would have found Shin to be a sick man.

[Shin]

"Maybe I am sick." Shin said with a shrug like it hardly mattered. He was here for one reason only, that was to get his memory back if Usurii wasn't going to do that then he no longer had any reason to stay in the room.

He let her deal with whatever moral dilemmas she was currently facing for a few seconds longer before loudly clearing his throat. She may have been upset by the entire conversation but Shin frankly didn't care.

"We can argue over this later. I would really like my memory back." He crossed both arms over his chest and let out a deep and long breath.

Shin was getting impatient with the girl, she was acting very unprofessional at the moment. Wasn't she supposed to be some sort of doctors assistant? It didn't matter he told himself, he had one goal in mind.

"Look...whatever part of me I am missing I need back. You don't understand what it's like to not feel....completed, like your missing a part of you and no matter what you do, you can't get it back. This has got to be the first step to being whole again.."

[Nayt]

"Do you deserve to feel whole, though?" she proposed the question rather quickly.

It was best to just get this over with, she thought. She'd bring up her concerns to her Master later, when the opportunity arose. Until then, she'd just have to indulge Shin. After all, what was stopping him from killing her for refusing to return his memories to him? Nothing at all, she assumed.

"Only you probably know that for sure," Usurii muttered as she set her hand upon Shin's forehead once more.

Usurii released a sigh. Shin's memories were a sad sight--his life was a tragedy. Here he was, a man capable of so much, but he was only human in a physical sense. Mentally and emotionally, he was nothing more than a weapon--a Cizokian sword of ancients that had outlived its own usefulness. A sword was a drone; it had no real feelings, no real mind. Everything about it was decided by the one who held it, and Shin could have boasted several owners in his life. Toryiama Shiden, Ahiru Shiden, Eri Tetsuken, Silver, money, Exitus, Tyrian Sturm, and so many more. He wasn't his own man, and hadn't been for longer than he could remember.

Those repressed memories would begin to come back to him. It was painless as he relived the journey, meeting and fighting Zach Kaiser, waking up in the church, meeting the orphans, Fenix Black, and traveling with the two treasure hunters--until that one fateful in Algeroth, in the township of Galaens, when he met Sturm and Usurii for the first time, and he was pit against a warlord and a militia that he could not combat on his own powers. In fact, he had been ruined by those opponents, defeated more than once and used for the sake of a power hungry warlord's harvesting of abilities. And once he closed his eyes at the end of his conscious recollection of that climactic event, he opened them next in the forests between Cizok and Xexoria . . .

Usurii withdrew her hand from Shiden's forehead and focused her attention upon the floor again. She folded her arms over her diaphragm, looking for some sort of answer in the characteristic design of the linoleum floor. Shin's life was unfortunate--but how could someone hate a sword? She finally looked up to him after a long silence.

"But . . . one thing is for certain," Usurii spoke up, this time without a trace of spite or disgust, "No matter what I do today, you won't feel whole. Until you're willing to face whatever it is that . . . destroyed . . . whatever potential for a human being you had--you won't feel like a whole person ever again. And that . . . is nothing I can help you with. You repressed those childhood memories on you own. They're not for me to touch."

[Shin]

It was like a wave of information had come to him, he remembered many key points in his life. Sadly, it was nothing different from the life he had remembered. Another fight, this one against a monster of a man, a fight that he had not been apart of for more then a mere second.

His hand went to his head and he closed his eyes, it looked like for only a brief second Shin Shiden would shed a tear. But only for a mere second, his facial features went cold and rigid, like stone. Anger whelmed up inside of him, anger at alot of thing, himself mainly. For his failures but also for Sturm.

He wasn't about to blame Sturm for all of his problems, but it was that man who had led him to this destination. He was thankful that his memories were back, but that too he was sure was orchestrated by Sturm. Everything had been...from the meeting in the forest, to killing the other enigmas all the way up until Shin made the decision to not be Sturms bright night and instead follow Exitus.

"Exitus." Shin said barely above a whisper.

His eyes, emotionless, looked up to Usurii as she finished her little monologue. She was so young...and naive. He cracked a smile a true and honest smile and shook his from side to side as if answering to an unheard question.

"Thank you. I would like to talk to Sturm... but he only gives half answers and the truth he thinks you should hear." Shin raised a hand before Usurii would have a chance to come to Sturms defense.

Shin reached over to where his weapon had been placed and grabbed it, bringing it in front of him he half-way pulled the blade from it's sheath. He admired the blade, the perfection of it's curve a delicate hand a true master could only forge something so beautiful.

"Can you tell Sturm we are done here?" He said, turning his back to Usurii. He wanted to leave, go back home, but he was in a different realm and had no way of getting back on his own. Until Sturm offered him his way back he would have to simply do as he was told.

[Nayt]

To Usurii, it was bothersome that Shin didn't take her seriously. Her "little" monologue was, in fact, a serious issue: Shin had memories from his childhood that he repressed on his own--it wasn't the fault of anyone else. She didn't examine them, though she could have, for fear of unlocking them for Shin before he was actually ready to recall them. That was how memory fragments worked most of the time. When someone had repressed memories on his or her own, unable to recall them by his or her own will, it meant that the individual simply was not ready to experience those events just yet. Usurii could remember finding people in New Xexoria who had repressed memories--young people who had experienced abuse, and weren't yet ready to cope with it, so they simply put those memories behind them until they were mature enough to deal with them . . . which rarely happened. For someone like Shin Shiden, it may have been the only thing that could make him feel "whole," or at least allow him to be his own person--to be a human being, something other than a well crafted sword, in this world that would someday soon have no need for such a thing.

No, Shin didn't seem as adamant about becoming a "whole" person than he'd have liked to think--and perhaps that was why he was not yet ready to remember.

"That's not true . . ." she replied to Shin's suggestion about Sturm. She hated it when people carried ill opinions for her Master, and wished to repair those opinions whenever possible. "My Master is just . . . busy," because of you, "Everything he does anymore has to be rushed, and he knows he can't afford to sit and talk for too long . . ."

There was truth in that, at least when considering examples from the past. When face to face, as they had discussed earlier, Sturm didn't give half-truths so much as he said the minimum amount he could, working all the while, and rushed his inquirers away as quickly as he could.

Usurii started towards the door. She intended to talk to Sturm, but not necessarily to give him any sort of good news. Rather, she wanted him to know her observations of Shiden. Not that it was probably going to matter in the end, but she felt her opinions should have been stated.

Before she let the door close behind her, she whispered ruefully, "Not even to me."

It was unlikely that Sturm was going to return to the room, though--so, Shin would likely have the opportunity to roam, if he wished, or seek out Sturm on his own.

[Shin]

He had nothing more to say to Usurii, Shin ignored her as she made her way out of the room, leaving him to be alone with his thoughts and his newly acquired memories. They did very little, except to add to the mental turmoil Shin already had. Sadly, it didn't answer any of the question Shin wanted answered.

Violently he slammed his fist onto the bed he had been sitting on, taking out his frustration on it. After a moment of silence he slipped his katana back through his belt and moved towards the door, opening it.

Stepping out into the rather bland hall-way he looked left and then right, unsure which way to head, he crossed his arms over his chest and provided something didn't make the decision for him he turned left and began to walk. At this point one way was as good as another.

[littlebean]

Plipshlluuuppp.....plipshluuuup...plipshhlluuuppp

One...two...one...two, in a steady rhytm the noises came one by one at a slow and lethargic pace. The source of the squishing noises were footsteps, which left behind them a unique and sticky trail only one slimey creature could produce. Just by walking he would leave behind a mess, and so just by walking he could be possibly angering the others. He didn't know, but in the end he decided that he didn't care either. Let them be angry, if anyone had a problem they knew how to find him. Just follow the trail.

However he was only suspecting that people were angry at him. He was the type to worry, and as he walked he thought and pondered as hard as he could about all the things that could possibly go wrong in the day. Of course along with the problem he was also looking for a solution in his head. The very fact that anyone could follow his trail and discover his location was un-nerving. Perhaps there was a way to clean it up behind him? He didn't know, so he dismissed the problem and instead thought of a new one.

There was a human here now. He couldn't figure out exactly how this was a problem yet, but humans were trouble for sure, eventually something would have to happen. Eventually he would meet this human for himself. Despite the dangers (in his head anyway) of having a human around, he'd never had much contact with humans and was incredibly curious. Was the human male or female, young or old, big or small? Question after question popped into his head, and just as he turned the corner in one second every single one of them was about to be answered.

[Shin]

The hallway was a long one, but despite that it was extraordinary plane, white walls with undistinguished doors evenly spaced marked the hallway each door with a plastic bin aside it. The hallway reminded Shin very much of Sturm, it was efficient and straight to the point and very unwelcoming. Shin was somewhere in the middle of the hallway when he heard the squishing noises.

He continued to walk towards the 'T' at the end of the hall, his black coat with the blue trim, marking him as the Azure Enigma, was pulled over him zipped all the way up with the hood pulled low to cast a shadow and mask his facial features. Shin watched the end of the hallway to see what would cross his view, however, Shin wasn't exceptionally vigilant at the moment, he continued to think over the events that had just transpired.

Subconsciously his left hand rested on the hilt of his Katana, which stuck out of a specially designed hole in his coat. He assumed it was another one of Sturms lackeys coming to check up on him, or perhaps summon him. By the time the two would see each other Shin would only be about ten yards from the corner.

[littlebean]

The slow squishing noises somehow became even slower, and continue to get slower until eventually the noise stopped altogether. This was because upon viewing the special human guest he had stopped dead in his slimey tracks in the hallway, the orange-yellow eyes on his chest wide with fear, never letting their sight leave the sword he had in his or her hands.

He knew it! He hardly had time to introduce himself and already the human creature was reaching for a sword of all things! They haven't even properly met and already he was fearing for his safety, frozen stiff in his tracks, contemplating ways to escape or defend himself at lightning speed, and at lightning speed realizing that in a combat related situation he was almost completely helpless. Even though this human hadn't technically even attempted to harm him, the very presence of the weapon had his mind run to conclusions, validating any suspicious he had about humans being violent people.

"Uh...uh..." AT first he was afraid to speak, because right away he worried that whatever he said may offend him or her, he couldn't quite tell the behind the hood what the gender really was. He was afraid to ask, but a question unasked reaps nothing, and if he didn't at least try to politely ask this stranger not to hurt him, he had exactly that, nothing.

First he swallowed hard, then he stuttered out his words. " P-please don't hurt me! I don't m-mean you any harm, h-honest!"

[Shin]

With the hood hiding Shins face the thing wouldn't be able to see the confusion stamped across it. Shin had also halted in his tracks, head cocked slightly to the side. Was this an acquaintance of Sturms? Shin asked himself as he looked over the strange creature-man thing. It resembled a human in form, but it's weird coloration and the eyes in the middle of the chest meant it had to be something more, or at least different.

"What..are you?" Not one for small talk, or subtlety Shin had said the first thing that came to his mind.

He ignored the things questions, keeping his hand on the hilt of his katana, at the moment it was simply resting. Shin didn't think the thing could hurt him, even if it wanted to. He held a very high opinion of himself, and judging by the way it talked it was weak of spirit and character, therefore a weak fighter.

Of course, besides his hand resting where it was, Shin made no threatening moves and his voice was genderless, adding to the mystery of if he was male or female...though because of his form, despite the lack of breasts, he was mistaken for a female as many times as he was declared a male. It must have no bothered him because he made no effort to appear more manly.

[littlebean]

What was he? He wasn't sure exactly, there wasn't a concrete definition or term for what he was. He was a sort of Eratzshad for sure, with slug like qualities, but even he couldn't find a solid answer to the genderless stranger's question. Before he answered the armed and dangerous person he thought very carefully about his answer. He needed to say something that this person wanted to hear, something that wouldn't get him killed. Should he tell the truth about himself, and say that he was a sort of monster there was a chance that the sword he was so frightened of would impale him in a second, because to his knowledge, nobody liked monsters. His answer needed to be something non threatening.

"Uh...a friend! A friend is what I am! I'm a friend so, really the sword is hardly neccessary.....you needn't use it."

After this encounter he wasn't too excited to meet the guest. At the same time, he was really disappointed, there wasn't much to this human. His first experience was sofar, an unfriendly meeting, purely by accident, unplanned and unenjoyable. The disappointment was in the fact that this person kept themselves hidden, not much of their identity was visible, and even the person's voice was androgynous and not a good indicator of any possible gender.

Even though the person he ran into wasn't speaking violently, the very presence of the weapon was enough to make such a fearful worriesome creature like himself frightened, and he had yet to ease up, he was still upset.

(High in painkillers forgive the shitty post. D: )

[Shin]

"Friend?" Shin scoffed at the word, it held little meaning to him. Shin had very few friends, even those he considered friends were not very close to him. Still, Shin had to remind himself that there was no need to be rude.

"A friend you say. Perhaps a friend of Sturm?"

In reference to the sword at his hip he removed his hand from it, letting it hang loose at his side. If it made the creature more comfortable then so be it. Shin took a few steps forward, he didn't move much closer to the creature, he just moved so he could look down both ends of the hallway, the way the creature had come, and the other way.

It was just as he thought, a few more doors and a long hall. Shin began to wonder if this place was supposed to be like a maze, but he quickly tossed aside that notion. Sturm was a pragmatic individual, he wouldn't build something like that where the doctors offices were it didn't make sense. Shin just chalked it up as his horrible sense of direction, he could barely find north when outside...let alone in a building he had never been in before.

"I am not going to use it." Shin said with an audible sigh. "I just wanna find Sturm."

[littlebean]

"A friend you say. Perhaps a friend of Sturm?"

Sturm, he mentioned Sturm so he must know of him. The worry was slowly beginning to lift from his shoulders, even if it was only slightly, it still made sense that the human creature would be a friend, or at least acquaintance of Sturm. Why else would he be here? Like the human, Kremnaes was hardly sure if he was considered a friend to Sturm really. In fact, he never really had any friends and couldn't describe what it meant to be a friend even if he wanted to. He was a nurse, he worked for Sturm, so whether or not he was his friend was uncertain but he definitely knew of him.

"I'm his nurse yes." His voice was more stable and lacked a stutter now that he felt a little safer around the human. It helped him feel more at ease when the human released the grip on his weapon, yet to Kremnaes there was still a reason to be cautious. He still took steps back when the human walked in his direction, just in case. Just in case of a hundred things, in case the human might hurt him still, in case he bumped into the human and offended him or dirtied him. There were always reasons, even reasons he hadn't thought up yet. He would eventually.

The person appeared to be inspecting the hallway for something, even though the hallways were always perfectly clean and hardly ever had a thing in them. It all made sense that he was looking for him, and maybe he could even help the man or woman find him, but should he? Sturm was a busy and important man, he didn't want to bother Sturm if the stranger didn't need him for anything important. Heck, the stranger didn't even say if he was a friend or enemy, there was no way to tell, if he assisted him he could very well be leading an enemy right to Sturm!

"U-uh..." In his head there were too many possibilities to sort through, and he had a hard time making the right decision. All of these dangers were possible, but if this man/woman was a friend or even a patient there would be more trouble for both of them if he didn't find Sturm. Would he rather make the mistake of helping him look for Sturm than leaving him alone? If this person was an enemy, Sturm was a very capable man and could handle him/her himself, and there were others around to help him. Should he be a patient or a friend delivering an important message, this man woman would go untreated, or Sturm would never get to know what the message was. It was a tough call.

"If you want, I can help you find him."

[Shin]

A nurse? Weren't nurses female? Shin had a very strict mind set, and though he had traveled the majority of the continent nurses were female and doctors were male. Then again, Shin thought. He didn't know what this creature was... maybe it was a female? Or had no sex organs whatsoever.

Shin wasn't one to think long on meaningless topics and his mind quickly focused on something else. The thing worked here, so it knew it's way around. Good. A thin smile curved at the edges of Shins mouth, still hidden in the darkness of his hood.

"No, that's alright. Actually, I just finished a physical with Usurii, Sturms assistant." Shin lied. "Could you show me the way out of here? I have a lot of work to do."

Shin could be a very convincing liar when he needed to be, he wasn't the best at coming up with in-depth stories and spinning webs of deceit...actually he was horrible at it. But with something simple like this he could usually get what he wanted.

[littlebean]

There was a long pause, sort of a weird and out of place silence in the area. It was out of place because, even though the human spoke to him, there was no answer, at least not yet anyway. Before he gave him an answer or said anything, the human's words were being replayed in his head over and over. While he was thinking his lips were pursed and eyebrows slightly furrowed into a disturbed expression. He feared something wasn't right. This wasn't too unusual, worry was his natural state of mind, there never really was a time or place he didn't worry. The difference today was that with this human around there was a reason for concern.

This person just claimed to have finished a physical with Usurii, which would make him a patient like he thought, but then why would he want to leave? Whether or not the human was telling the truth was a mystery. If he really was here getting a physical there had to be more to it, it was pointless to go for a physical if you didn't suspect something was wrong with you, or to leave without getting the results. Could this be a patient trying to escape? Just a moment ago he said he was trying to find Sturm, but now he was saying he wanted to leave? He wasn't about to help him leave if he was in fact, supposed to stay here.

"Work to do?" He asked, still stepping back should the human decide in the end that he did want to use his sword. " You said you were looking for Sturm, but now you want a way out of here. Which is it?" If Kremnaes couldn't get a straight answer out of this person, instead of trying to take care of it himself he would simply ask Usurii where her patient was supposed to be. If he wanted answers it would make more sense to go straight to the source.