Coping (Closed)

[Kirin]

Tamotsu didn't look to see if Katsumi was still following. The walk to the temple was quiet as he didn't want to speak much. He spoke to a monk that led them to a mortuary where they would take care of Amaya's body. The temple was a large building, the largest in the city after the Imperial Palace. There were monks and priestesses walking around quietly. The whole area was behind a wall and gated for the protection of the people there. Of course, there were expansive gardens within the grounds of the temple. The mortuary was a small building, separate from the main temple. It was dark with the exception of a few candles that were lit. A lone monk was writing in a tablet and he looked up at Katsumi and Tamotsu with a kind smile.

"You put her down on table." Tamotsu gestured to Katsumi, then the table.

Once Katsumi put Amaya's body on the table, the monk began to examine her. He shuffled off to get incense.

Tamotsu turned to Katsumi. His expression was grave. "The Empress is not the same person she was when I was younger. I am five years younger than her. She is not gentle like in past. War changed that. War always changes people. Ten years. A lot of things change. We go, leave Hanzo to do work. You make grave marker tomorrow."

Kitano had been stalking Tamotsu and Katsumi since they arrived at the temple. He watched them walk out of the mortuary, then he made his move. "Oh, I never thought I'd EVER see one of you out of that village. I haven't seen you since Emperor Byakko came to visit because he wanted to meet you."

It had not gone well for Kitano. He was told to guard the doors to the Cathedral and was insulted for doing so. He was only following orders. Kitano was forced to submission and he was quieted. The man was mischievous by nature. Now, things had changed for him because of the war. He could barely see out of one eye due to an injury that was caused by an explosion. His arm was in a sling,but that had nothing to do with the war and more to do with falling out of a tree in a drunken stupor. He patted Tamotsu on his shoulder.

"He's a good kid, but now, you are with me, Katsumi." He smiled halfly. "Come on. Quickly."

He was making his way to the monks' quarters, which was another huge building.

[Katsumi Viora]

Katsumi followed Tamotsu,carrying Amaya's body as they went along to the temple..
He was silent as he went along,following Tamotsu wherever he needed to go,his steps light as he kept his head low.
Katsumi was twitching,his facial expression as well as the look in his eyes consumed by his sadness as he set down Amaya's body where he was told to before stepping back he looked at Tamotsu as he spoke.

"The Empress is not the same person she was when I was younger. I am five years younger than her. She is not gentle like in past. War changed that. War always changes people. Ten years. A lot of things change. We go, leave Hanzo to do work. You make grave marker tomorrow."


Katsumi only nodded slowly,not willing to talk right now..if anymore at all..
But under the surface..his mind was racing..

I should of just listened to father...
I killed her..an innocent woman!...
She was his sister..his sister...I killed his sister...
Chizuru doesn't love me anymore..why do I keep trying?
I'm not worth anything..
I made Chizuru cry..!
What's happened to me?...I feel so empty..
I should of given up a long time ago...
Why do I even go on?
I'm an abomination..
I'm so hungry...


He walked with Tamotsu out of the building..His head turned,amber eyes staring at Kitano as he spoke..Katsumi
however didn't respond again with any sort of valid remark.


"Eh..."


He glanced off to the side,and wondered off with Tamotsu again when told to...

[Kirin]

"Don't look at him." Kitano snapped at Katsumi. "He's going back to his home. You are to remain here."

Kitano's eyes narrowed. Despite his inability to see out of his eye, everything outwardly appeared normal. He looked away. Tamotsu bowed at Kitano.

"Good night, Master Hinode." He turned and walked towards the exit of the temple.

Kitano turned to Katsumi and his expression seemed to soften. Kitano moved towards Katsumi. He lowered his body on one knee and reached for Katsumi's hand. He gently pressed his lips to the back of Katsumi's hand. Kitano rose slowly too see Katsumi's facial expression if there was one. He turned in an effeminate manner.

"Don't torture yourself with heartbreak over the Empress. You might have fought tooth and nail to get here, but don't be blind to the others around you." Kitano still appeared to be the same androgynous man. This was done on purpose, for he was part of the Kakashigoto and he would often have to travel in the guise of a woman. But his own partner had been killed in battle and he spent much of his time in the temple now. "I should listen to my own advice." He mumbled. "Follow me. I'll lead you to where you will be staying."

Kitano walked away, expecting Katsumi to follow.

[Katsumi Viora]

He had never hurt so much or felt so empty before,and yet the man before him told him to simply
not trouble himself with such things as if love itself had lost all meaning here.



Katsumi felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest and all that had meaning to him had been crushed
into the ground..
No matter what his kind did to redeem themselves,they always seemed to slip up..to make those mistakes
that sent them spiraling back down into what had brought them to become nothing more then monsters
in others eyes to begin with.
His family in particular..why couldn't they find true happiness?...
No matter what they did,sorrow always lingered in their eyes and heart no matter what joy another brought
into their life..
Tears were always spilled.
Depression was heavy in their minds..
Feelings always dragged them down..
But yet,the world around them kept moving..kept changing..
People forgot them..they were left behind..
They became nothing.
Not even memories..
Unlike them,the feelings others held were easily..
Swept under the rug...
When memories for him and his family were sometimes
all that they had..

Despite having looked away when Kitano had snapped at him,he really hadn't heard him to begin with,he [Katsumi] had been too far lost in his own mind.
Once his hand was taken however,reality came crashing back down around him and eyes focused on Kitano who had made such a move as far as to kiss his hand..
Amber eyes widened slightly as he blushed,his hands shaking but he would force a smile.





"....Yes,I suppose you're right..."


He said,yet forcing more from himself to go as far as to make light laughter after his remark.
He'd move then and follow after the man so he could find out where he'd be staying..






He felt so empty,so pointless..so useless...and yet,he felt as though he should have all along.

[Kirin]

Kitano clenched a fist. He ground his teeth in aggravation. He spun to face Katsumi. Bright blue eyes scanned Katsumi's body. With a blush, Kitano grabbed both of Katsumi's hands and pulled Katsumi close. He looked up into Katsumi's eyes, then kissed him on his lips. He figured it was the only way to get his attention. He thought about how cold Katsumi felt, how he felt like a statue. He wondered if he could at least warm Katsumi for once. Kitano broke the kiss immediately and blushed furiously. Letting go of Katsumi's hands, he stepped back.

"Forgive me for being so rude. But..I needed your attention. You are too blind to see what is in front of you." His blue eyes never left Katsumi's face. "I want to be the one to warm your heart and take away your tears. The Empress is too blind by her own ambition. But I've been waiting for the opportunity to at least be able to look at you again. And here you are!" He paused.

Well, it was out there. What was said could not be taken back. Kitano suddenly felt the urge to curl up in a ball. It was an urge that he could resist easily.

"At least if she wasn't going to wait for you, I was. Please. Take this into consideration. I want to be your's." He felt like he was going to pass out when he looked at Katsumi's half blurry face.

[Katsumi Viora]

Katsumi stopped as Kitano spun around he looked up blankly at him about to ask what was wrong but instead he gasped softly as he was grabbed and then pulled into a kiss.
Katsumi hesitated but he seemed to relax and lean into the kiss somewhat his amber eyes closing,he was blushing horribly however.
Once the kiss was broke he opened his eyes again,pressing his fingers to his lips his amber eyes calm but he still rather surprised about everything as he canted his head,listening to Kitano.

"Forgive me for being so rude. But..I needed your attention. You are too blind to see what is in front of you..I want to be the one to warm your heart and take away your tears. The Empress is too blind by her own ambition. But I've been waiting for the opportunity to at least be able to look at you again. And here you are!"




Katsumi stared at Kitano,blushing still.
Was this some sick joke?..
The thought picked at Katsumi,but
at the same time if it was..He really didn't care...
The feeling,someone else close to him..that warmth..
That wanting..
That taste...

"At least if she wasn't going to wait for you, I was. Please. Take this into consideration. I want to be your's."


Katsumi's hand moved and pressed against his own chest his head still canted.
His heart fluttered and he sniffled,he'd actually speak but his voice was soft barely a whisper.



"...Y..you really waited for me?...a...all this time?...Me..?"


He said,a small smile crossed his pale rose colored lips as a single tear ran down his cheek..He sniffled lightly once more..
He hadn't been forgotten by Kitano..of all people..Kitano had remembered Katsumi..He had actually waited
even with the thought of Katsumi never returning here..he had waited and never given up...
Katsumi hadn't been swept under the rug for something better,something materialistic in nature..
He hadn't been forgotten,for power..


Katsumi hesitated again but moved,he wrapped his arms around Kitano gently in a hug a small smile remained on Katsumi's lips,another tear rolling down his cheek as amber eyes closed.



"...A...alright..I'll give it a shot..you can be mine..alright?"



He said softly..

[Kirin]

He swayed, unable to believe his ears. Katsumi said yes. Kitano reached out and wiped away Katsumi's tears, then hugged him tightly.

He forgot about me. But who can blame him? I was living in the Emperor's shadow, trying to guard him from beings like Katsumi. I was told to leave because I was obviously not important enough., he thought.

Kitano motioned for Katsumi to walk with him through the temple to the dormitory. He held open the door for Katsumi and sighed. "The Empress will be here tomorrow or perhaps the day afterwards. Because she is female, her quarters will be on the other side, far away from where we are. You'll probably never see her. She tends to be very private about her matters here. She is very religious, so it is unwise to disturb her."

Kitano shook his head. She was a heartbreaker. Kitano didn't fall for her as hard as some of the others. He was able to see her for what she was, indecisive in the matters of love and extremely ambitious. She rarely stopped or took a break, but at the same time, that was what started the improvements all around the Empire and the small colonies outside of the Empire. He looked at Katsumi with a raised eyebrow. The halls were dark and Kitano had trouble seeing. He felt his way down the hallway.

"Aiyah. It's hard to see with only one eye, neh?" He mumbled. "You are supposed to train with Tamotsu-san and myself after the funeral. The training we will have you go through is fairly rigorous. Reita-san in your village went through it. I see no problems that you should encounter. Once he learned how to cope with pain, he became a prodigy."

[Katsumi Viora]

Katsumi was still blushing,he leaned into Kitano's hand as his tears were wiped away..
So warm..So accepting..
He'd return Kitano's hug before he'd step back once it was broken,Katsumi's wings shifted slightly as he'd follow Kitano then to the dormitory..He thanked Kitano for holding the door open for him as he stepped on through..

The Empress will be here tomorrow or perhaps the day afterwards. Because she is female, her quarters will be on the other side, far away from where we are. You'll probably never see her. She tends to be very private about her matters here. She is very religious, so it is unwise to disturb her."


Katsumi nodded,sighing softly a small frown on his face as he canted his head.


"...That's quite alright...I have no reason to associate myself with her any longer..."


He said softly and brushed a bit of his black hair from his face as he'd follow Kitano,to Katsumi it was like
the lights were on in the building..He was not hindered by such things.
He reached out carefully and took Kitano's hand if he could anyways,if not he'd wrap his arm around Kitano's waist.



"..I wouldn't know,the darkness holds no secrets for me."


He said softly,guiding Kitano along but allowing Kitano to take him where needed be..
Katsumi was breathing heavily,the veins under his skin had become quite see-able but he wouldn't speak on the matter
nor did he complain.


"You are supposed to train with Tamotsu-san and myself after the funeral. The training we will have you go through is fairly rigorous. Reita-san in your village went through it. I see no problems that you should encounter. Once he learned how to cope with pain, he became a prodigy."


Katsumi nodded..



"...Understood...I've been put through a-lot in my life..a bit more pain shouldn't be anything new quite frankly..Father he put a few of us..through..well...never mind about that.."


He said..He glanced at Kitano for a moment.


"...Your injuries..were they inflicted normally?.."


He asked.

"...If you wanted me to..I could fix you."

he added,looking back to the hallway as they went along..


"...I'm worried,father doesn't technically follow orders very well...He may try to pull something..if he sends Yuki..well..we'll have a bit of a problem..Yuki has a body relocation ability..he's essentially a living doll..he can create corpse dolls as well,he already has one that accompanies him around named Nori..The flesh golems are the worst.."


He shook his head.


"..Kitano..this..this may sound like a silly request..but..while I'm here,please..be careful around any Ravens..please..even if they look normal..just..tread carefully..I don't want you hurt.."


Katsumi mumbled,running his free hand through his own long hair,his hands were still shaking lightly.

[Kirin]

Kitano allowed Katsumi to touch him. He still had trouble seeing, but with Katsumi guiding him, he told Katsumi where to go and he stopped in front of a door. He opened the door and turned to Katsumi.

"If I have to go on a mission, I just put on an eyepatch. Strangely, this helps me with my bow and arrows better. I'm more accurate now with my shots."

He couldn't see the veins showing under Katsumi's skin because he couldn't see much of anything. He covered one eye and opened the shoji, waiting for Katsumi to enter first. The room was decorated sparsely. There were three bedrolls on the floor with quilts and pillows. There was a single window that the moon shone through. There were no paintings, plants or statues. It was a plain room with the exception of three wooden boxes where clothing was placed.

"I have no idea of what Tamotsu has in store for you. But he has been told to administer the punishment to you. I'm not allowed to witness. One of the others will be there." He shrugged.

He closed the door once Katsumi entered.

"Eh, I was drunk, I fell from a tree, and broke my arm. This is my punishment for not listening when I was told I might have to go on a mission. I'll be fine in a couple of weeks. But as far as ravens go, they are rather common here now. However, if this Yuki does come, we will make sure to let someone know. I had a feeling that your father does not listen well. Someone told me what had happened at the palace."

[Katsumi Viora]

Katsumi went into the room with Kitano..Katsumi turned to face him.

"If I have to go on a mission, I just put on an eyepatch. Strangely, this helps me with my bow and arrows better. I'm more accurate now with my shots."

Katsumi nodded..


"..Alright,understood."


He said simply as he'd look around the room quietly,standing there.
Pale lips were parted still with his heavy breathing..He turned and walked to the window,staring out it his hand pressed against the window pane gently..


"I have no idea of what Tamotsu has in store for you. But he has been told to administer the punishment to you. I'm not allowed to witness. One of the others will be there."

He nodded...

Eh, I was drunk, I fell from a tree, and broke my arm. This is my punishment for not listening when I was told I might have to go on a mission. I'll be fine in a couple of weeks. But as far as ravens go, they are rather common here now. However, if this Yuki does come, we will make sure to let someone know. I had a feeling that your father does not listen well. Someone told me what had happened at the palace."

Katsumi wasn't sure what to feel about the situation that happened at the temple anymore,
He felt so numb..Indifferent about it now..
He sighed softly..Nodding again



"Understood.....Despite Yuki being so young,his ability makes him really..hard to...well...catch..to put it in light terms..His dolls can cause horrible damage..But,yes..Father is rather stuck in his ways.."


Katsumi said and turned to face Kitano again..

[Kirin]

Kitano frowned. "Your father would be dumb to try anything. Chizuru would not hesitate to withdraw the people from the colony, including her sister and put forth a plan of action that involves war." But he was done talking about it. Let things happen and take their natural courses.

"Momoko-sama is the head of things around here." He smiled. "Momoko-sama is so nice. Especially now that Yuki has given her a new body." He stared out the window. "Things happen for a reason, I guess."

Kitano made his "bed" and laid down. He was quiet now, listening to the noises outside mostly. It was a habit now. He listened for danger. But most of all, he listened to see if maybe, just maybe, he could hear his best friend in the shadows. It had been a few years now. He stared at the moon for a long time without saying anything. He relived the loss every night. Katsumi's detachment wasn't exactly what Kitano was anticipating and after a while, he couldn't think of anything to say. He pulled the quilt over his body and turned to face the window. The air was cool, but not terribly cold. It was refreshing. He closed his eyes and tensed his body.

There, the necromancer, Polaris, had him pinned to the floor under her foot, threatening to crush him. Kitano remembered struggling to get free. Her foot closed in on his neck. The tea house was on fire around him. Then, he saw her face contorted with fury at the "woman" who was lunging towards her. The "woman" told him to run and he refused. It didn't matter. Sparks flew all around him. The damn explosive he had rigged was about to go off. Things blurred. He couldn't remember what happened next. He was lying outside without any clothing on. They were on fire, he was told. Kitano didn't know where Polaris had taken Shino. He never saw Shino again and after a while, everyone assumed Shino was dead.

He couldn't just find another best friend that easily. Tamotsu was Shino's younger brother. He looked a lot like him, but he was nothing like Shino personality wise. Occasionally, he caught glimpses of Shino in Tamotsu. They played a lot of tricks on him. Kitano opened his eyes and shivered.

"Is it too cold?" He asked Katsumi.

[Katsumi Viora]

Katsumi was sitting on the floor now by the window,amber eyes stared up out the window at the moon that loomed overhead..His long black hair hung about his pale face loosely as he turned his head again to look at Kitano once more.

"Your father would be dumb to try anything. Chizuru would not hesitate to withdraw the people from the colony, including her sister and put forth a plan of action that involves war."

Katsumi sighed softly.


"...I'm sorry for bringing the topic up."


He said simply,knowing that Kitano was done speaking of such things and in such Katsumi would cease it as well.
Nimble fingers moved up,to brush a bit of his hair from his face idly.
He stared at Kitano,canting his head as if he felt the unease stirring in Kitano's mind.
He gasped softly,blinking having gotten lost in his thoughts once more until Kitano spoke..



"Is it too cold?"


Katsumi smiled faintly.


"..I wouldn't know really."


He said.
It was true,even though Pureblood's bodies worked entirely different then Halfbreeds..they were still cold.
They were still dead inside..
It was why many of his family members opted to learn how to control fire so they could elevate their body temperatures and experience warmth even if it was during battle/training..
When that wasn't an option,they wrapped their wings around themselves which offered a small amount of comfort for them..
Sure,feeding brought their bodies the most warmth but even then vampires only could consume so much blood..
Katsumi got up slowly,fixing the kimono he wore so it covered his shoulders properly again..he'd walk over and get his 'bed' taken care of..
Sleep wasn't necessary..it was just a treat...a luxury..
He'd take the covers that had been provided for him and unfolded them,putting the heaviest one over Kitano carefully before using the lightest one to cover himself when he laid down..
Without hesitation,one wing moved and settled over Kitano gently as did his arm,despite how big his wings were they were light and delicate,just like the feathers..
His wings were sensitive,very sensitive in fact..A wrong move,a feather pulled or something jammed or even injured caused more pain then a severed limb or other bodily injury would have for him.
Katsumi kept the other wing folded to his back,he sighed softly..He'd make sure to keep his arm on the covers,so he wouldn't make Kitano anymore cold then he already was..
He was still breathing heavily however,his skin still far more pale and the veins underneath still somewhat more visible then usual.



"...Is that any better?"


He asked softly,looking at Kitano calmly.

[Kirin]

"Yes, thank you." Kitano was being very respectful.

He drifted off to sleep, feeling as though he was being pulled under once again. Kitano rested peacefully for a long time. It looked like it was going to be a fulfilling night of sleep. He soon began to struggle in Katsumi's wing. His body slipped away from under Katsumi's wing and he moved his arms to cover his face. He yelled about not being able to breath. Most notably, his eyes were open as he spoke and ranted and screamed.

Tamotsu slipped into the room soon after Kitano's terror had started. He was worried. "Sh. Don't wake him, Katsumi. It would be very bad. I did that once and he didn't wake up again for two days." He knew that Katsumi would attempt to wake him up. "I already know of what happened between you and Master Kitano. But don't think you'll get out of things so easily. Momoko-sama has given me orders and I must carry them out. Just hold him and try to comfort him, but don't try to wake him."

Kitano was crying.

[Katsumi Viora]

"...You're welcome.."

Had been the last thing he'd say before
actually drifting off to sleep for a while..
It had been a quiet rest for once..No nightmares...For him at least..
It had just been..darkness..peaceful darkness that he sat within before
he felt Kitano moving and heard his voice..
The darkness around him erupted as flame colored Butterflies materialized from
the void around him,obscuring his vision but not the sillohet of what seemed to be a young boy.

I miss you big brother...



..That was strange..


He thought..He wasn't able to create such delicate things with his abilities..Only Yuki could..Had that been who he heard..Had Yuki given him that peace,even just for that little while?
he folded his wings to his back,rubbing his eyes and sitting up as he looked at Kitano..
His eyes widened hands reaching out about to try and jostle him awake before Tamotsu stepped in,he turned his head..

"Sh. Don't wake him, Katsumi. It would be very bad. I did that once and he didn't wake up again for two days."

Katsumi nodded slowly,arms lowering and hands moving to his lap..


"I already know of what happened between you and Master Kitano. But don't think you'll get out of things so easily. Momoko-sama has given me orders and I must carry them out. Just hold him and try to comfort him, but don't try to wake him."


Katsumi looked away.


"...I don't expect to get out of anything easily..I deserve my punishment for allowing my emotions to control me and take an innocent life..."


He wouldn't say anything else on the matter as he moved and carefully wrapped his arms around Kitano,holding him pulling him close but no restricting his movement in any manner really..
Amber eyes closed as he ran his fingers through Kitano's hair gently..Katsumi started singing what seemed to be a lullaby softly..

"The right wing is the night..
the night I make myself forget..
The wing makes me forget the pain and sadness..
The left wing is the sea..The sea makes me remember
the past..
The sea reflects the person I didn't want to forget..
Run away,my heart..away from the land of fear..
While protected by the dark wing..
Run away,my heart..Away from the land of woe..
Run into the dream that is beyond time..If people have no one who will sing for them..
then each will become our own singer..
Even in the heaviest rainstorm..one can hear one's own voice..
Lullaby..Lullaby..Sleep,my heart..Lullaby..Lullaby..Soon it will be tomorrow..
Lullaby Lullaby..Sleep my heart..Lullaby Lullaby..Soon it will be tomorrow..
Do memories really turn into wings..Do pain and sadness also..
Will I be able to smile without memories..Will I be able to laugh at fear and woe..
If people have no one who will sing for them....then each will become our own singer..
Even in the heaviest rainstorm..one can hear one's own voice..
Lullaby Lullaby..Sleep my heart..Lullaby Lullaby..
Soon it will be tomorrow..Lullaby Lullaby..Sleep my heart..Lullaby Lullaby..
Soon it will be tomorrow.."




His voice remained soft so he wouldn't wake him,fingers still running through Kitano's hair gently trying to keep him calm.
He didn't mind Tamotsu being there,he really had no ill-will toward the man..
He didn't have it against anyone when it came down to it.

[Kirin]

Eventually, Kitano calmed down as did Tamotsu, who was watching from the side. Kitano fell asleep in Katsumi's arms. Tamotsu looked outside, just as Kitano had done earlier. His hands rested on his knees and he shook his head. He whispered to Katsumi.

"A few years ago, Kitano lost best friend in war. Best friend was my eldest brother, Shino. You might have heard of him. He was Saitoh's master. They were on a mission to spy on enemy. Enemy found out about spying and attacked Kitano. We were all young. I was just a child. Polaris was her name. Big, mean, bad lady. She came and set house on fire. She was going to break Kitano's neck or choke him. Shino came and attacked Polaris. Polaris let go of Kitano and began attacking him. There was explosion. I pulled Kitano away. I got hurt, but I tried to go back for brother. But brother and Polaris were gone."

Tamotsu frowned and looked down. "Older brother and I were close, too. Shino was happy." He swallowed roughly. "He has nightmare every night about Shino. Shino as vampire. Shino as jikininki. Coming back for him."

Tamotsu's eyes closed, but he still sat there. "Do you have brother?"