by littlebean on Sun Oct 19, 2008 2:34 am
Today Cork and I got to hang with Mandaz and Nate! It was hardcore biittchin shit!
Mandaz's school was going on a trip to the Canadian side of the Falls, and when Cork and I heard this we shit ourselves cuz we're in the area and immediately started making plans to meet up with them. We knew ahead of time what the plans were and everything, we thought we had it all figured out but we forgot one important factor.
Niagara is fucking gay.
Seriously, I don't even know how anyone can have fun at the Falls. Most of the fun shit is on Cliffton Hill, but that shit gets stale fast, it's too flashy and a lot of it is bullshit 4-D (wtf?) Spongebob Movies, wax museums, and haunted houses, which unless you're mentally retarded and can be entertained by jingling keys like a fucking baby isn't entertaining at all. The main attraction is of course, The Falls naturally. I mean it's a huge frigen waterfall but Niagara even managed to ruin that. Perhaps it would be one thing if we were in the wilderness and there was vegetation and wildlife and we had the space and time to enjoy the majestic beauty of a giant waterfall would it be enjoyable. But a waterfall loses it's grandeur behind steel bars covered in rainbow lights surrounded by casinos and so many people that you have to swim through a crowd of 50 trillion asians just to get the privilege of glimpsing at a pile of water.
That's when you realise, it's just fucking water. Anything else left is just thousand of over expensive and horrible restaurants who's sole purpose is just to further irritate you. But that's just the beginning.
We haven't even started looking for them yet. Mandaz was told that she was being dropped off at this "Niagara Tourist Center" and they would be arriving at around "noonish." We already knew Niagara was a steaming pile of shit but our experience would only strengthen our hate for it. First of all the Niagara Tourist Center did NOT exist. Cork previously searched for it online, and according to the internet it existed on Stanley street but there was no tourist center to be found. There was an information center, and when we walked in and spoke to the woman who worked there, it wasn't it. It couldn't have been it because there was a 5000$ fine just for parking in their god damned parking lot. So they direct us to the Ontario Travels across the street, which directs us to the place we were already at.
There was an obscene amount of aimless wandering. It actually took us 3 hours of searching before we called it quits and went home, which was actually the better idea. We spent 3 hours chasing the idea of the vague possibility that maybe if we wandered around they would be seen somewhere on the streets. Every American bus we laid eyes on was literally chased at a full out run til they reached their destination, and none of them had Mandaz or Nayt in it.
We were so distraught and tired that we figured a coach bus called Eagle would have Mandaz and Nayt on it because Eagles are American and they were coming from America. We saw a bus parked in a Korean food restaurant and wondered if maybe they stopped to eat, we saw a group of younger looking people and thought that perhaps they were all students from the same bus. All silly little theories, and we were all willing to chase them at a full out run.
Our poor friend Mel suffered bleeding blisters on her feet from this, we actually had to switch shoes. God we ended up by a ton of variety stores, the information center led us to a fucking GAS STATION that we actually hovered around for a bit because there was a bus there. She said there was a tourist stand but it was a pathetic rotten shack/booth thing and it was fucking closed.
Useless, every information center we went to misinformed us or couldn't even tell us what we wanted to know. We ended up at a red brick building which after much arguing (everyone was starting to get a little hostile from the whole ordeal ) we decided would be the place they would show up at. It wasn't a tourist center, but another information center, but it was close to the falls and actually had a parking lot in it you wouldn't get fined for parking in.
No dice. We reasoned that it would be best to go home and check our messages to see if they tried to reach us, which was actually far more useful then like what 5 INFORMATION CENTERS! Turns out they weren't at any god forsaken unexistant tourist center at all but at a bus terminal type place called TABLE ROCK!
Whatever we were frigen ecstatic to have them with us. Amanda is INCREDIBLY adorable, and has the most freakishly clear skin I've ever seen. Like pale soft smooth, not a single mark on her face, she was like a porcelain doll. Only less fragile and creepy. Nayt is a fucking giant, he's tall as fuck I swear to god he was casting some sort of ominous shadow.
We ate, we liked it. It was some snazzy food place that wasn't Cliffton Hill garbage soup that Cork works at, nice sandwiches and salads, everyone loved it and was glad to be eating. We got to see his workplace and the wine cellar. There was a lot of driving back and forth dropping people off to and from work but even the time in the car was the best. We listened to the pokerap in the car and Nayt hated it, it was like some kind of horrible punishment.
Also Nayt has never seen pokemon, which makes me wonder how he capable if particpating in the EVERYONE! thread I started where we all have to choose what pokemon our characters would be. Rofl.
We hung around Cork's house chillin snackin and playing a boardgame we made up which takes way too long to explain. By the time we had to drive them back to the bus terminal it was late, and the temperature somehow dropped to like negative 9001 degrees celcius. Poor Mandaz was shaking in her 3 sweaters, and the mist around the falls was lit in a freakishly eerie silent hill red colour. We were all terrified and we also saw a huge spider and talked a bit about what kind it might be. Bus took 20 billion trillion zillion years to show up and finally we were on our way home.
HA! BUT HA! IT DOESNT END THERE! Halfway through fucking niagara Corks car fucks us up the ass and breaks down. I couldn't tell you what was wrong with it, I don't know a thing about cars. We sat there disgruntled and totally fucked, trying to laugh off the people that drove by us and loled at us.
Our saviour that night was a blonde older looking woman named Kathy who tried to pass off as 23 yrs old, which was bullshit for sure. Especially since she explained that she had an unpleasant breakup with her boyfriend of 7 years and had another ex she was dating for 4 years. It doesn't add up at all. She lent us her cell to call a tow truck, halfway through the call it died so we pissed off to a variety store to get it charged. While Kathy was there she bought mad munchies and split a lot of it with us.
This Kathy chick was frigen awesome. Cork got a hold of the towtruck and it took them seriously SERIOUSLY like an hour and a half to arrive. We stopped at a cofffee shop for a piss and spent the rest of the time sleeping in the car waiting for them to show up. The car was dumped off at a nearbuy garage and Kathy frigen GAVE US A RIDE HOME! Seriously, We're not harmed or raped or drugged up or anything, she wanted nothing in return. We just had to give her gas money so she could drive us down. When we got home finally it was a quarter to three. We were worried about Kathy's driving because she had a mad migraine and was half asleep for the whole ride but she got us home safely. We let her finish charging her phone at home and when Cork came in she gave us her phone number and told us we should hang out. She's nice and all but uhhh.....xD; no. Well I might who knows....xD
So, in the end Canada is fucked and has some nice people, but Mandaz and Nayt were the best people there today. We should party it up next time. You guys kick too much ass.