It's the same, isn't it? That told Fenix more about her state of mind than anything else she'd said yet.

To associate yourself with a concept so completely that it and you become inseparable. That was something he understood, and he wondered if that was happening here--Emma's disillusionment with her home was really her disillusionment with herself. With the world.

Her comment, though, reminded him of why he should stop prying. "I don't intend to stay," he reminded her--she could talk about settling down here all she wanted, but he already had a minor agenda of tasks to accomplish once he was well, and none of them involved remaining in Hillcrest.

"M-Mr. Black," Mayako's voice broke the silence between them--calling him out by a name he hadn't wanted her to refer to him as.

She'd just forgotten, really. Unless he reminded her, she'd probably just keep on with this again.

Rather than bringing out a wheelchair, Mayako held two crutches in her arms. They were cumbersome for her, definitely, not particularly heavy, but the two of them put together would probably have been wider than her. More often than not, being small came only with difficulties and disappointments, but there were a few select times when it came in handy. Not that Mayako had encountered all that many of them. Not nearly enough to justify enjoying her state of development.

"I brought your crutches. T-Tsukimono-sama told me th-that it would be too hard to wheel you around outside, so . . ." She trailed off. Well, it wouldn't be too difficult for Fenix. He walked well with crutches already. He'd just be dealing with softer surfaces, inclines, and declines, that was all.

Emma didn't say anything more. She averted her eyes from Mayako and Fenix and stared blankly at her lap. Mayako glanced from one to the other, feeling the tension. Maybe it was a good time to briefly get out of the clinic with Fenix . . .

Emma didn't respond to him, and Mayako's entrance prevented discussing the issue further even if either of them wanted to. He refrained from reminding her to call him by his first name for the moment, wondering if her failure to do so meant she overheard part of the conversation.

But if she did, she didn't say anything about it. "That's fine," he replied. In his opinion, it was actually better; it meant he'd be able to move under his own power rather than relying on someone else, even if it was more tiring.

He pushed himself up to a sitting position, legs dangling off the bed, arms held out expectantly.

"O-okay . . ." Mayako whispered under her breath as she handed the crutches over.

The crutches were the same ones he'd been using before, tall enough for someone of his height--which had been a little difficult to procure originally, since most people around here weren't six foot three and all. Fenix dwarfed people like Mayako, who essentially had to look up if she wanted to see his face--Mayako, who was just an inch shy of five feet tall.

For her, it was a little awkward, standing by someone that tall. She didn't really know how to feel about it. In one hand, she was embarrassed--about her body in general, but being dwarfed by someone made her feel uncomfortable about her height, too. In the other hand, though, if there was something high up that she wanted, and Fenix was okay on his feet--well, there'd be no problem there at all!

"Here, I'll stay by your side, okay?" Mayako asked (rhetorically) as she moved to the side of Fenix's bed, ready to stay by his side every second of the way once he was up and out of bed.

It was a matter of leading him out of the house--which shouldn't provide too much difficulty. He was able to walk with crutches (relatively) decently now, after all; elevation might give him a little trouble, but that's what Mayako was there for.

"Thank you." While he might want to be able to do everything on his own as soon as possible, Fenix was still aware of his limitations. Walking around outside without assistance in his state was tempting fate; with his recent luck, he'd end up stranded somewhere, unable to move.

Once more, as he stood up with the crutches he became aware of just how tall he was compared to most people. Mayako's own height didn't seem strange, because he was used to dealing with smaller children on a regular basis. While he didn't have a problem with his own height, he was uncomfortably aware that it made him stand out most places, which was something he generally strove to avoid.

He allowed Mayako to guide him to the building's exit; though with the crutches he'd moved around the hospital a bit, he had yet to step foot outside. He figured it was about time he saw this supposedly cursed town with his own eyes.

Outside, it was a sight to behold. The grass and the trees were fine; they were as vibrant and beautiful as ever, especially at this time in fall. Some trees were barren, while others were a plethora of colors--all sorts of warm colors, all pasted on by nature. The same leaves all covered the ground if there were trees near, and sometimes out in the open space where the most congestion of buildings could be found, the same place the Tsukimono Clinic set.

Between threats like bandits months ago and an organized crime ring more recently, a lot of homes still looked vandalized. By this point, a good third of the village had moved elsewhere with their lives. Sometimes, though, it was hard to tell which homes were abandoned and which were not. Two cottages which sat next two each other, very close by, that both looked as if they were going to collapse where they sat, except there was a candle lit in one of them, and absolutely nothing in the other. They otherwise were in the same shape . . .

From the clinic, they could go any number of directions. They could move on to the farmlands, which were much better off than the rest of the village, they could start down a road towards Galaens (without intentions of reaching the township, of course), a barely beaten path up to a hill which overlooked the entire village--or even towards a distant church, burnt and broken down, barely standing--completely condemned.

"This is th-the first time you've been out here, right . . .?" Mayako asked.

She was trying to sound cheery, but she was failing right at the gate. It was hard to be enthusiastic about Hillcrest anymore.

His first look outside was quite a shock, but not in the way Mayako might have thought. True, many of the buildings looked battered, and altogether it definitely seemed like they'd had a lousy run of luck as of late...but there were still plenty standing, too. To Fenix, who had witnessed the complete destruction of his hometown firsthand (save for the church), things still looked optimistic. Some time was all that was needed to fix things up.

What drew his attention the most was the flora...the color of the leaves, the way the breeze separated them from the trees and caused them to flutter down to the ground.

"It really has been months, hasn't it?" For the first time, the notion that he'd been in a coma for months was very real, not just an explanation given for why he was so weak. "It seems like they were just bursting with green the other day..."

"Mm," Mayako nodded.

Which felt a lot less personal and--well . . . sympathetic--than it should have, all things considered. It must have been tough, seeing the world in summer one day, then going into a coma--and waking up in fall. It must have been a hard realization to come to. Treating that sort of subject like it was no big deal was just . . .

It was times like this when Mayako remembered why she frequently hesitated and changed subjects in mid-sentence. She was always afraid of saying the wrong thing . . .

"I-it's-- Fall, it's really nice . . ." Mayako whispered, hoping that maybe if she pointed that out, all would be well.

Fenix nodded mutely in response, feeling a bit awkward. Well, it wasn't as though Mayako could imagine what it was like to one day realize you missed out on a significant chunk of time. If it was like this after a few months, he could only imagine how those who woke up after years must feel.

I wonder...what's he been doing all this time? Is everyone alright? He wasn't worried about his mentor--the world would probably end before he was put out of commission by something--but if he hadn't visited here in all this time, had he even been home? The kids were mostly self-sufficient on a day-to-day basis, but an emergency came up.

I'll just have to get better and check on them myself.

Realizing he'd been silent and staring into space for some time, he looked around, searching for a destination; he wanted a good look at the area, and there was a hill that seemed fine for that, but his eyes were drawn to the burned out hulk of a building that appeared to have been a church.

"Is that way okay?" he asked, pointing to the building. His mentor hated churches and religion, so he didn't often get to see any other than the orphanage's.

"That way?" Mayako reiterated Fenix's question at first--not initially understanding where or why-- oh. "Y-you mean, o-over th-there . . .?"

The church. The burnt and broken church. The place she spent most of her life, before all hell broke loose in the village. They thought it was all over after the bandits, too; in reality, the hell last for months on end, with scattered instances of joy in-between--instances that Mayako tried to latch onto, for Emma's sake more than her own.

As much as she didn't want to go there, she couldn't tell Fenix no. "O-okay . . . s-sure, I'll . . . I'll stay by you, just like before. The ground is soft, s-so you won't have as much balance . . ."

Initially, she would come off to Fenix as extremely hesitant and borderline unwilling to go up to the church, but once she started to focus on Fenix again, she seemed completely fine with it.

Mayako would walk by Fenix's side the entire time, making sure to hold onto him if he started to show signs of losing his balance. It wasn't embarrassing if she was doing it for someone's health--practically hugging onto someone to keep them balanced. Hugging someone she didn't know all that well, like Fenix, would have otherwise been a little embarrassing, especially out here in the open, where anyone could see them.

Up close, it was easy to tell that the church was never going to see good days--ever again. The engraving above the door which announced its faith was gone; the stone on which it had been engraved had since fallen and broken before the door. Each and every window was broken out--what were once beautiful stained glass windows, all in pieces on the floor of the main hall. Signs of burning was all over; scorch marks on every corner, on every wall. The ceiling had even collapsed into the attic, which had experienced the worst of the fire.

Once there, Mayako would look sad again--not as if she were going to cry, but true, genuine depression.

Fenix noted that Mayako was a bit reluctant to go to the church, but that wasn't entirely unexpected. Not too many people were thrilled at the thought of going into abandoned buildings; but Fenix spent a fair amount of time exploring places in far worse condition, so he wasn't bothered by it.

Or maybe, like him, she doesn't like religion. Either way, he still wanted to see it. Moving was a bit awkward with Mayako pretty much holding him up; the ground was too soft to get good footing, making him wonder if it rained recently. His days at the clinic all seemed to meld together; he may have heard rain at some point, but he couldn't recall when.

Unfortunately, the place was as bad off on the inside as on the outside. Stained glass which once made up beautiful images lay shattered on the floor. Signs of burning were everywhere, and no doubt any books stored here had been destroyed.

This should be a safe haven, a place of learning, and a cultural center...it shouldn't be like this. But any knowledge it held was likely lost, its cultural significance only a reminder of whatever disaster consumed it. And it was most certainly no longer safe.

"We shouldn't go in any further," he said abruptly, turning around. Perhaps he'd look further inside once he was back to full strength, but it was too dangerous in his current condition. If something happened, he wouldn't be able to protect himself, let alone the girl accompanying him.

"How about over there?" he asked now, pointing to the hill in the distance. Even though he was in no condition for it to really matter, he still felt the need to get the lay of the area, in case something happened. Plus, he always liked high places...

"I-I'm sorry-- it's . . . really too dangerous to go in . . ." Mayako whispered . . . and sighed.

She wished it didn't have to be like that--that the church would have never been burnt and vandalized like this, but she couldn't take back history, and rebuilding it was impossible. It was gone, and that was all. Only this skeleton remained.

But entering it would have been too dangerous; they had to look at it from the outside. The archway above the doors had collapsed and barred entrance; the only way in would have been climbing through one of the windows.

Leaving was a good idea, though. Anywhere would have been better than this. Truthfully, had Mayako not been with Fenix, things would have gone much, much differently . . .

"O-oh, there?" Mayako seemed to brighten up a little; a fraction of cheer returned to her voice, and she might have even smiled a little, given time. "Okay--th-this way. It's an uphill climb, s-so . . . you have to be really careful, okay?"

"Okay." Fortunately, when Fenix said things like this, it wasn't simply to put someone's mind at ease. He intended to be careful; he wanted to get back to full strength as soon as possible, and therefore would take all precautions to avoid injuring himself further.

As they walked (or rather, as Mayako walked and he sort of hobbled), he voiced a question on his mind. "What happened to the church?" he asked. It was unusual; judging from the damage to the buildings around, there was an outside attack--it likely hadn't been destroyed by angry villagers who were against the religion. But churches were generally not high priority targets--they tended to be sparse, so bandits usually overlooked them, and while stone buildings did make good fortifications for military, churches tended to have only one entrance, which made them dangerous.

Not to mention Hillcrest didn't seem to have any kind of standing military force at all. And in any attacking force, there would always be those reluctant to strike at a building of faith lest the deity worshiped there turned out to be very real and angry at the disturbance.

"Th-the church?" Mayako voiced in surprise.

Fenix didn't seem like the church-going kind of person; not the type of person to really be all that concerned about a church. Mayako instantly felt bad for generalizing.

But she also felt bad to just think about the church in general. She'd spent all her young years there, practically as much time as she spent at home, she spent in that church. It really was a second home for her--and Sarah's house was a third home, with all the times that she stayed over night with Sarah and Emma, regardless of how much they picked on her sometimes--and even with her father's church; no matter her difference in opinions with her father, she went. And all the homes she ever had in life were abandoned and broken.

"It . . . it, w-well--it . . . was my father's. My m-mom and I, we all belonged to it--th-the First Church of Saqin," Mayako replied.

She was instantly sadder when she started talking about it--all the pleasant memories were painful when put into perspective. All the time she spent reading in the church, where no one was going to be too loud to bother her; all the time she spent listening to her father's sermons, and even for the ones that he felt nervous about, sat in a pew alone to listen to him prepare the delivery and tell him it was great, because it was always great no matter how worried he might be--and if she ever had a chance to support her father, she instantly took it. Mayako adored her parents more than anyone else.

But her parents were gone and she had no place to call home anymore. All that was left was rubble and pleasant memories that were all beaten into the dirt by the much more devastating terrors of the last few months.

Mayako stopped walking.

"A-a . . . a couple months ago, i-it . . . i-it was burnt down."

Her father and mother...

It wasn't a terribly difficult conclusion to jump to, that her father and mother had likely passed away. She spent all her nights at the clinic, and he'd heard nothing about her parents...perhaps it was something to ask Emma about, when she wasn't desperately ignoring him. That possibility made him sad...she seemed to be attached to that church; to lose the place on top of her parents must have been a great blow.

At least she has the Tsukimonos...and Emma, when she stops acting like she's the only one in the world who suffers. Which had only happened once, to threaten him...but it was for Mayako's sake, at least.

"My...condolences," he replied sincerely, if awkwardly. He wasn't quite sure those were the right words, but nothing else came to mind. Vocalizing his thoughts on more delicate issues wasn't something that came naturally to him.

"The Church of Saqin..." he mused, attempting to steer the subject in another direction. "As in Death?"

He knew some of the legends surrounding him, enough to know that most people feared him and considered him evil. To have worship him--well, to worship him in ways that didn't involve trying to invoke his wrath upon ones enemies--seemed highly unusual.